The old hamburger vs. the new hamburger

By: Robin Beal Email
By: Robin Beal Email

ARDMORE, OK - It has been much-anticipated in Ardmore. The newest burger joint in town is Whataburger. They opened this week and that got Robin Beal thinking about the decades-long love affair between Southern Oklahoma and the hamburger.

If you hang around this town long enough you will begin to see it; little clues which reveal a passion.

(Singing) “A big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat… “

“It’s magical…”

(Singing again) “Cheeseburger in paradise… heaven on earth with an onion slice.”

And if the traffic outside the shiny new Whataburger doesn’t convince you, just look to one of the oldest lunch counters in town, Hamburger inn, since 1938.

“Hamburgers are a Southern Oklahoma food… I’ve been coming to the Hamburger Inn since I was a youngster and they were twenty cents a piece.”

And what do you think people were ordering when we visited?

“I’ll have a hamburger… for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday.”

You guessed it. So what’s the secret to a great hamburger? The experts would seem to agree, “Ya gotta have fresh meat.”

“Fresh meat… I think.”

“Ya gotta have 100% beef.”

“Beef?”

“Beef.”

“Beef!”

“Where’s the beef???”

But these guys are trying to sell you burgers, right? That’s why we turned to the scientific community at the Noble Foundation, to get real answers.

“I think the hamburger by virtue of the benefits that it offers is a universal foodstuff.”

“I like plain cheeseburgers.”

“A hamburger is very versatile.”

“Mayonnaise? Uh-huh.”

“By that I mean you can add to it.”

“Pickles? No.”

“Anything you wanna add to it.”

“Onions? Sometimes.”

“As long as you have a bun to put the hamburger and the other ingredients between, you’re good to go. It’s versatile… it’s mobile… it’s very portable.”

“Mhmm. This is a tasty burger.”

But is it the perfect food?

“You know I think it comes pretty close to being the perfect food. I really do.”

Well, depends on who you ask.

“Excuse me, I have a few questions for you.”

“Do you think hamburgers are the perfect food?”

“Excuse me, why are you dodging my questions?”

“What are you hiding?”

“How do you feel about chicken burgers?”

“I plead the fifth on that”

(singing) “I like mine with lettuce and tomato. Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes.”

“Hamburgers are a Southern Oklahoma food.”


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